APSGO Parenting Blog

Suzanne Kranz (adapted from Jane Bluestein’s The Parent’s Little Book of Lists) from APSGO Fall News 2008

  1. Make excuses for their behaviour: “He has a disorder.” “It’s genetic.” “She’s been diagnosed with XYZ.” “It’s hormones.” “He gets it from his father.” “It’s a learned behav-iour.” “It’s because I’m a single parent and his dad/mom isn’t around.” “It’s the friends she hangs out with.” “He didn’t make it onto the soccer team.” “Her teachers don’t like her.”
  2. Refuse to believe they’re capable of doing what they’ve been accused of doing…
  3. …and refuse to believe they’re capable of better!
  4. Rescue them. Do for them what they should be doing for them-selves so they’ll know you don’t believe they’re smart or strong or resourceful enough to handle their own life.
  5. Model disrespect: Think and speak badly of yourself and oth-ers – and them.
  6. When they disappoint you, ask, “Why?!” so they’ll learn to come up with good/better/acceptable excuses.
  7. Be inconsistent: Don’t mean what you say, and don’t follow through.
  8. Teach them to make decisions based on avoiding punishment or getting a reward – not because it’s the right thing to do.
  9. Value obedience above caring, concern and co-operation.
  10. Demand a higher standard of behaviour from them than you demand from yourself.
  11. Complain – loudly and often –and be unhappy, miserable and frustrated so they’ll be eager to become a responsible adult just like you.
  12. Give them whatever they ask for so they can develop a strong sense of being entitled.

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