APSGO Parenting Blog

In 2003, as a single mom of six, my household was spiralling sickeningly out of control. My 16-year-old daughter was heavily involved in drugs and had left home. My 15-year-old son was in a CAS group home, and the younger ones were taking notes and robbing me blind. Every other parent I knew was doing fine. They all had well-behaved kids who did their chores, were responsible and respectful, followed the house rules, attended school, did their homework, and didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs. What was wrong with me? What was I doing wrong? I concluded that I was […]
Dear Helen, My seventeen-year-old son comes and goes as often as he likes. What bothers me most is his habit of coming home at very late hours. He has a curfew of 1am but usually ignores it. On the advice of friends and even a couple of family members I have taken his key and let him wait outside when he came home long after curfew. One time he could see that we were awake and kept banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. It was very upsetting, but we didn’t let him in until morning. What should I […]
APSGO hosted an online parenting workshop for members with APSGO Founder, Past President and spokesperson Helen Jones on Saturday April 17. The topic of the workshop was “Making Plans.” APSGO PLANS are meant to improve the relationship between children and parents, not complicate it and create a standoff between parents and their children. This ZOOM Workshop taught the essential elements of reaching children and building trust and respect between them and their parents. Parents learned how to create plans that actually work and change lives. You can listen to the workshop below. Our next Workshop will be Saturday May 29, 2021 at […]
APSGO hosted an online parenting workshop for members with APSGO Founder, Past President and spokesperson Helen Jones on Saturday March 13. This Workshop was presented in open Q&A format with parents encouraged to submit questions to Helen in advance and during the workshop. You can listen to the recorded workshop below.
I was listening to Kim Olver’s podcast interview with Sue Kranz recently where she speaks on parenting using Choice Theory. One of the issues she discusses in the podcast is whether parents need to be “on the same page”. This struck a chord with me because of the parenting journey my husband and I had been on through our sons’ teen years. What follows is the reflection on that journey and why I agree with Sue Kranz that parents do not need to be “on the same page”. When my son Ali became a teen, my husband Nat and I […]
Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer!I must get out and breathe the air again.-Gustav Mahler We have all been itching to end the cooped-up existence we have been forced into. We have been itching to come out of both Winter and COVID hibernation. March reveals longer days, higher temperatures, and Spring. Spring brings buds and sprouts that promise the beauty of lush green trees, shrubs, and colourful flower beds. Spring reminds us of the possibility of new life and coaxes us out of Winter hibernation.  Warmer, brighter days lift our spirits and encourage us to get […]
By Sue Kranz “Why?” questions are uppermost in the minds of most parents of acting-out teens: “Why does he lie?” “Why does she hang around with those kids?” “Why does he do drugs?” “Why does she steal?” But we don’t have to know why a problem exists to solve it. We think we have to go back for answers and reasons for our current unhappiness or unwanted behaviour: back to our youth, back to our childhood, back to where “the problem” originated. With this approach, we don’t go back for two reasons: We can’t change the past, no matter how […]
When my marriage broke down, I spent several years trying to put it back together. I eventually came to the realization that I couldn’t hold my family together if I wanted to. I knew that I would rather take my kids from a broken home, than live in one with them. My decision to leave didn’t come lightly.  I thought about my own parents tumultuous divorce and how awful that had been, but that once the grand-babies came. my lovely and smart Mum said something to the effect of, ‘I can be civil if your dad can be civil. I don’t want you […]
Dear Helen, Please explain again the weakness in the principle of parents being “on the same page” when it comes to dealing with their children. My husband is all in favour of this more open approach, but I think it weakens our position as parents when we do not show a united front to our children. Doesn’t it also confuse them when they know their parents have a different opinion or view of the house rules? Thank you. T.P. Dear T.P. Parents who do not realise that their children, even quite young children are aware of the reality of what […]
By Sue Kranz There’s nothing wrong with you. Whatever you’re going through is normal for you. Those random thoughts that make you wonder, “Oh, no! Who am I that I can think those things?!” – that’s normal, too. They just show up, and they don’t have anything to do with who you are. We all have those thoughts. It’s just that no one talks about them. Too bad… You don’t have to believe everything you think. Blaming your parents for how you turn out won’t give you a better life. Self-esteem doesn’t come from others thinking well of you or […]