APSGO Parenting Blog

– By Helen Jones Because our approach is new to most people, some parents will express doubts as to its effectiveness. Our focus on building better relationships, can lead some parents to believe that we concentrate on relationship building while ignoring acting out behaviour. Parents need reassurance that we have similar goals and even better results in mind using a different approach to dealing with acting out behaviour. There are two approaches to dealing with bad behaviour. The Failing Approach, which is used by most parents involves punishment, as a deterrent. Or, even more destructive, a ‘diagnosis’ such as ADHD […]
by Helen Jones Many APSGO coaches have been around for years, generously giving of their time, experience and expertise. Sometimes we forget that new and relatively new parents don’t realize any of this. In a parent group, it is important that parents understand the role of the person who is helping them. The coach should briefly explain his or her role. There are several roles that can be held by the APSGO group Coach. Role: Manager Helps someone who does not want to be helped.. Allows consequences which can be redeemed, unlikecriticisms and put downs which cannot be retrieved. Relates […]
APSGO presented the Final Spring 2021 ZOOM Parent Workshop with Helen Jones on Saturday May 29, 2021. The Workshop Topic was “Disorders and Diagnoses: A guide for parents with options and insights for parenting sons and daughters who have been diagnosed with a behaviour issue. Learn what their needs are and how you can help them meet them.” You can listen to the Workshop below:
Dear Helen, My seventeen-year-old son comes and goes as often as he likes. What bothers me most is his habit of coming home at very late hours. He has a curfew of 1am but usually ignores it. On the advice of friends and even a couple of family members I have taken his key and let him wait outside when he came home long after curfew. One time he could see that we were awake and kept banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. It was very upsetting, but we didn’t let him in until morning. What should I […]
APSGO hosted an online parenting workshop for members with APSGO Founder, Past President and spokesperson Helen Jones on Saturday March 13. This Workshop was presented in open Q&A format with parents encouraged to submit questions to Helen in advance and during the workshop. You can listen to the recorded workshop below.
Dear Helen, Please explain again the weakness in the principle of parents being “on the same page” when it comes to dealing with their children. My husband is all in favour of this more open approach, but I think it weakens our position as parents when we do not show a united front to our children. Doesn’t it also confuse them when they know their parents have a different opinion or view of the house rules? Thank you. T.P. Dear T.P. Parents who do not realise that their children, even quite young children are aware of the reality of what […]
Hi Helen, My wife has a 14-year-old, son from a previous marriage who has recently come to live with us. In the past, he lived with his father and I had contact with him only on weekend visits or vacations. We weren’t especially close, but we managed to get along. However, his father has moved out of the province, and now that this teen lives with us, things have become quite tense. I know it can’t be easy for him missing his dad. I tried to step up to the plate by being involved and before this crazy pandemic, I […]
Dear Helen, My daughter has just turned 14 and I am having a terrible time disciplining her for anything. Last night I took her phone away as consequence for failing to come home (which she knew the rules before leaving and the time expectation to be home). She was also high and when I took the phone, she started to leave the house. I ended up sleeping at the door for fear she would leave in the middle of the night and walk across the city through a very rough and disturbing neighbourhood to get back to where I picked her […]
Hi Helen, Here we are in a New Year. Hopefully, it goes well, and people get the vaccination, and we can get back to some sort of “normal”. I live in a small town and now our nursing home has the COVID, enough to report on the News. My heart is going out to the people working there and the people living there and am praying this soon passes. I am having a hard time not seeing my three-year-old granddaughter. I want to see her so much, but we are in lockdown and we are not supposed to see anyone outside of […]
In our support groups, ASPGO leaders use Choice Theory to help parents develop small plans to improve their relationships with their children by changing their own behaviour. The plan should rely solely on the parent. If it depends for success on anyone else, including a teacher, spouse or your child it has little to no chance of success. The plan should be as small as possible. The plan should demonstrate a change in the behaviour of the parent. The plan should have a positive impact on the wellbeing of the parent. The plan should not be punitive. So often when […]
Association of Parent Support Groups in Ontario (APSGO)