APSGO Parenting Blog

This is how a friend of mine describes compulsive chatter. Which is what parents do best. (For a humorous rendition of “parentspeak,” check out The Mom Song on Youtube!) Funny how parents mistake lectures and advice for conversation! My kids never learned anything while I was talking at them.

Why is that? Because they weren’t listening.

And they weren’t listening because I wasn’t saying anything they wanted to hear. It wasn’t about what they wanted. It was all about me – what I wanted, what I thought was best for them. I wasn’t talking about what mattered to them; I was talking about what mattered to me. And I was talking to them and at them – not with them.

Of course, it was all for their own good, but they found my “conversation” tiresome and annoying. How curious. Then I discovered that all my talking was actually preventing them from thinking. How in the world could they think straight with me yammering at them all the time? And how in the world could they think straight when all their thinking power was tied up with arguing, explaining, justifying, defending – and attacking? (After the all, the best defence is a good offence!)

Want your teens to think for themselves? Stop talking so they can start thinking!

Sue Kranz

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Association of Parent Support Groups in Ontario (APSGO)