APSGO Parenting Blog

When my marriage broke down, I spent several years trying to put it back together. I eventually came to the realization that I couldn’t hold my family together if I wanted to. I knew that I would rather take my kids from a broken home, than live in one with them. My decision to leave didn’t come lightly.  I thought about my own parents tumultuous divorce and how awful that had been, but that once the grand-babies came. my lovely and smart Mum said something to the effect of, ‘I can be civil if your dad can be civil. I don’t want you […]
Dear Helen, Please explain again the weakness in the principle of parents being “on the same page” when it comes to dealing with their children. My husband is all in favour of this more open approach, but I think it weakens our position as parents when we do not show a united front to our children. Doesn’t it also confuse them when they know their parents have a different opinion or view of the house rules? Thank you. T.P. Dear T.P. Parents who do not realise that their children, even quite young children are aware of the reality of what […]
“OK, honey. Five more minutes, OK? Then we have to go.” “Time to go. OK, two more minutes, but then we really have to go.” “Time’s up. Remember I told you five minutes ago that we had to leave? So we really do need to go or we’ll be late.” “Come on, sweetie. If we leave now, I’ll buy you the truck you wanted or the doll you asked for, or you can have a sleepover…” “If you talk to me like that, we’re going straight home, and there will be no ice cream for you.” “I mean it. This […]
These are unprecedented times, for all of us. The current situation can be scary and uncertain, for our children and ourselves. I have been at home with one of my children for the last three months, my 27-year-old daughter who lives with me. (My son lives with his girlfriend). While we have been navigating the ever-changing information, recommendations and symptoms to look out for, we are trying to live our lives the best way we can. My daughter is dealing with a lot of anxiety because of the current situation. To be honest, my usual chill self is also feeling much anxiety (With […]
Hi Helen, My wife has a 14-year-old, son from a previous marriage who has recently come to live with us. In the past, he lived with his father and I had contact with him only on weekend visits or vacations. We weren’t especially close, but we managed to get along. However, his father has moved out of the province, and now that this teen lives with us, things have become quite tense. I know it can’t be easy for him missing his dad. I tried to step up to the plate by being involved and before this crazy pandemic, I […]
Dear Helen, My daughter has just turned 14 and I am having a terrible time disciplining her for anything. Last night I took her phone away as consequence for failing to come home (which she knew the rules before leaving and the time expectation to be home). She was also high and when I took the phone, she started to leave the house. I ended up sleeping at the door for fear she would leave in the middle of the night and walk across the city through a very rough and disturbing neighbourhood to get back to where I picked her […]
by Sue Kranz This, too, shall pass – so never give up. There’s nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with your son or daughter. There is no “normal.” Whatever either of you is going through is normal for you. As your children grow into teens, your job as a parent shifts from providing and protecting to preparing them to be decent citizens and partners. Punishment ceases to work when we cease to be afraid of the punishment. Rewards cease to work when we no longer value the reward. Both are attempts to control and bring about obedience – […]
Choice Theory parenting expert and APSGO leader Sue Kranz had an interview with KIM OLVER recently! “In this episode, I speak with Sue Kranz, a knowledgeable, Choice Theory parenting expert. She first used Choice Theory concepts to help herself with being a single parent to six kids, with one of them exhibiting some seriously challenging behavior. Once she saw how these ideas worked for herself in her situation, she started reaching out to help other parents in similar situations. Above everything, Sue has learned the relationship you create with your children is most important. It’s amazing what happens when we […]
by Donna DiMascio Someone asked me the other day what I thought about 2020. The first word that came to mind was &$!#% ….. and then a whole slew of other negative thoughts: uncertainty, scary, horrible, rough, stressful, dreadful, terrible and sad. Or as Queen Elizabeth once said, “1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure.” She could have easily been describing 2020 because that is what it has felt like for most people. Many of us feel that not until we are all relatively safe or have a better fighting chance against COVID […]
A Letter to Helen Jones, Founder of APSGO I do know that it is my attitude in the whole situation that should change but I am having a really hard time.  Here is some background. Our daughter is now 40. She has struggled since she was 20 with alcohol and drug issues. Went into rehab many times but has never finished a treatment. At 30 she finally got clean, got married and we thought things were good. She had a baby and she started drinking heavily, she went back on drugs.  Today’s situation is of course, all the denial, and […]