APSGO Parenting Blog

– By Helen Jones

All behaviours are our best attempt at the time to get what we want.

All behaviours are our best attempt at the time to close the gap between what we have and what we want.

All behaviours are our best attempt at the time to match the pictures in our QUALITY WORLD with what we have in the real world.

All behaviours are our best attempt at the time to satisfy our needs.

We have more control over some behaviours than others.

PHYSIOLOGICAL FEELING THINKING DOING

Because we have the most control over our thinking and doing behaviours, these are the behaviours we must focus on to bring about change.

Since we have much less control over our feeling behaviour, it is futile to dwell on our feelings to bring about change.

THE TRUE IMPORTANCE OF FEELINGS

FEELINGS are an indicator of how well our lives are going, not a cause of how well or badly our lives are going.

FEELINGS are only one part of TOTAL BEHAVIOUR.

FEELINGS come from within, not from without.

When we change what we DO we change how we FEEL.

ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS. DON’T DWELL ON THEM.

WHY WE CHOOSE MISERY

  • To keep anger under control.
  • To get others to help us.
  • To avoid more effective behaviours.
  • To gain powerful control.
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Association of Parent Support Groups in Ontario (APSGO)