APSGO Parenting Blog

These are unprecedented times, for all of us. The current situation can be scary and uncertain, for our children and ourselves. I have been at home with one of my children for the last three months, my 27-year-old daughter who lives with me. (My son lives with his girlfriend).

While we have been navigating the ever-changing information, recommendations and symptoms to look out for, we are trying to live our lives the best way we can. My daughter is dealing with a lot of anxiety because of the current situation. To be honest, my usual chill self is also feeling much anxiety (With so many underlying health issues). We are trying to keep up with the news but not allow ourselves to be saturated in it (Although there are days we get pulled in). We have slowly been building a small pantry – something we wanted to do for a long time, but not panic buy (Although sometimes I feel a bit panicky if I can’t find at least one bottle of hand sanitizer and some Lysol wipes). Between a good friend and grocery delivery, we have managed to get what we need, Amazon for the other essentials.

We are working around the house on things we never have time for, we fixed up our tiny back yard and it looks amazing! We picked out everything together, but my daughter did most of the hard work, planting a garden and adding some patio stones so we could have a few close family and friends for visits and still stay the recommended distance. She also loves cooking (me, not so much) and we are enjoying meals together on our new BBQ, something we couldn’t do much of before because of the shifts we work. She has also been helping me sort through a mountain of paperwork for one of the Boards I serve on. Sometimes because she wants to help, and sometimes because she just wants us to sit down and relax sooner. We have our lazy days too!

We have done a lot of little projects, but the basement is next and that, is the ‘big job’ (Even in a pandemic, procrastination is still procrastination). 

We have also done a little watercolour painting, played some games and spent a lot of time talking, watching movies, sharing favorite shows and we are enjoying each others company. Yes we have had a few occasions where we snipped at each other, more the frustration of the situation than anything, but we get over it pretty quickly (I’m happy to say that the snipping didn’t start until almost the three month mark). I’ve realized that if I had to be ‘stuck’ at home with anyone, I’m glad it is my daughter. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love my son, it just that she and I share a lot of the same interests, we work on projects together really well, and we are a lot alike and…we know what buttons to push and when not to push them. It’s been an almost unspoken rule from the beginning, we have always been considerate of each other but in difficult times its even easier to want to do more for those we love.

2020 has been horrible so far, from this pandemic, and all of the awful that goes with that. Seeing the unrest of people fighting for basic rights, when it should have been theirs to begin with. I hope the people that make that impossible come out of this with a different perspective. Hate is so exhausting, love is so freeing. I hope we come out the other end of this better people. I wish all of this wasn’t happening, as does everyone. I can’t wait until life looks like the life we once all knew (only better), having dinner with our family more, popping in to see friends, hanging out and relaxing, being able to sit side by side and not worry about anyone getting sick and oh God, being able to hug the people we love, as many times as we want and for as long as we want. Hugging people, is what I miss most. 

But here’s the thing…I can’t focus on everything that is out of my control, the only thing I can control is what I focus on. I’m choosing to focus on the fact that I have been blessed with having this unique opportunity, of spending and abundant amount of time with my 27 year old daughter that would never have happened otherwise, and will probably never happen again. With all the uncertainty going on in the world right now, that feels pretty damn good. 

DD.

  • APSGO ENEWS June 2020
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Association of Parent Support Groups in Ontario (APSGO)