I was going to a conference, and had agreed to carpool with someone else I’d just met. We planned to meet at 10:30, and I would drive us to the conference. At 10:00, she called to tell me she wasn’t… Read More »Permission to leave!
A few years ago I was addressing the members of a downtown church where the group was a mix of young and old, professional people, stay at home moms and retirees. The conversation centred of course around APSGO’s emphasis on… Read More »He Ain’t Heavy – Examine your role and live it
Helen, I have a 16 year old who has absolutely no respect for me or his mother or brothers. I could list so many obnoxious things that he does, but there is one issue which really irritates me and spoils… Read More »Family dinnertime & respect
How to listen There are two ways to listen: Listening to reply. Listening to understand. The first is the one most of us use. While our teen is talking, we’re formulating our response: a comment, advice, a criticism, a rebuttal,… Read More »Listening to connect and understand
Suzanne Kranz (adapted from Jane Bluestein’s The Parent’s Little Book of Lists) from APSGO Fall News 2008 Make excuses for their behaviour: “He has a disorder.” “It’s genetic.” “She’s been diagnosed with XYZ.” “It’s hormones.” “He gets it from his… Read More »WATCH WHAT YOU’RE DOING! 12 ways parents encourage irresponsible behaviour
Dear Helen, At a workshop you gave on parents in conflict, you discussed the merits of different parenting approaches in the same family. Would you please repeat the points you made at that workshop? C., Bowmanville Gladly. Here goes: The… Read More »Parents in Conflict – Being on the “Same Page”
There is a truth which is not acknowledged by those who are in authority over others and who live ‘by the book’ and that is that rules are intended to establish conformity. What is the appeal of conformity and why… Read More »Rules & Creativity
Dear Helen For several months we have been implementing your suggested plans with our daughter, an incredibly bright thirteen-year-old who was, until now, seemingly bent on self-destruction. We have a long way to go, but because things are so much… Read More »Rules versus Principles
by Sue Kranz (from APSGO News Fall 2007) Ask anyone what they expect from their relationship—whether that be with their teen, their spouse or their boss—and they will usually give you a list of what they believe the other person… Read More »Great Expectations
Dear Helen, I have a fourteen year old son who earns money by doing chores around the house. This week we had an agreement that he would clean out the garden shed and organ- ize the gardening equipment and other… Read More »Chores and truancy