APSGO Parenting Blog
by Sue Kranz Like many parents I’ve worked with, when things were at their worst at home, I was anything but a helpful role model to my teens. For some reason, I thought what I said and did to them was more important than how I lived and what I was modelling. Then I attended a workshop where I was challenged to consider the kind of example I was setting for my teens and children, and when this was likely to inspire them or discourage them. Was I cheerful, calm, and confident? Did I enjoy my life? Did I create […]
by Helen Jones Remove focus from the issue (problem). Listen to the problem but make sure that your questions are about wants and needs. The problem can’t be controlled, continued fixating on it isn’t only senseless, it’s ruins your efforts to influence change and underlines your helplessness. Look at the things you can change. E.g. you can’t make your or anyone’s son obey a curfew but you can demonstrate how removing the curfew will increase influence. Since you can’t enforce any rule, you lose credibility by continuing to try and credibility trumps authority every time. Don’t use plans which are […]
APSGO presented the Final Spring 2021 ZOOM Parent Workshop with Helen Jones on Saturday May 29, 2021. The Workshop Topic was “Disorders and Diagnoses: A guide for parents with options and insights for parenting sons and daughters who have been diagnosed with a behaviour issue. Learn what their needs are and how you can help them meet them.” You can listen to the Workshop below:
By Sue Kranz In his book Choice Theory, William Glasser discuses 7 habits that bring people closer to us and 7 habits that push them away. While my focus here is on our relationship with our children and teens, as some of you have already noticed, these principles apply to all of our relationships. First, the 7 habits that brings others closer to us: supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting, and negotiating differences. And the 7 habits that push others away: criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.In this article, I’ll discuss the 7 habits that push others away, […]
By Helen Jones Why are so many people, including children, being classified as mentally ill? Three reasons are offered up to explain the steep rise in the numbers of people of all ages who are being treated for a mental disorder. Life today, we are told, is more stressful. Psychiatrists are said to have become better at diagnosing disorders. The bar for measuring a disorder has been lowered, allowing many more people, including children to be classified as ill and requiring treatment. Is life today more stressful? In fact, the opposite seems to be the case. True, life does have […]
In 2003, as a single mom of six, my household was spiralling sickeningly out of control. My 16-year-old daughter was heavily involved in drugs and had left home. My 15-year-old son was in a CAS group home, and the younger ones were taking notes and robbing me blind. Every other parent I knew was doing fine. They all had well-behaved kids who did their chores, were responsible and respectful, followed the house rules, attended school, did their homework, and didn’t smoke, drink or do drugs. What was wrong with me? What was I doing wrong? I concluded that I was […]
Dear Helen, My seventeen-year-old son comes and goes as often as he likes. What bothers me most is his habit of coming home at very late hours. He has a curfew of 1am but usually ignores it. On the advice of friends and even a couple of family members I have taken his key and let him wait outside when he came home long after curfew. One time he could see that we were awake and kept banging on the door and ringing the doorbell. It was very upsetting, but we didn’t let him in until morning. What should I […]
APSGO hosted an online parenting workshop for members with APSGO Founder, Past President and spokesperson Helen Jones on Saturday April 17. The topic of the workshop was “Making Plans.” APSGO PLANS are meant to improve the relationship between children and parents, not complicate it and create a standoff between parents and their children. This ZOOM Workshop taught the essential elements of reaching children and building trust and respect between them and their parents. Parents learned how to create plans that actually work and change lives. You can listen to the workshop below. WORKSHOP CHAT DISCUSSION Helen took the time to answer some […]
APSGO hosted an online parenting workshop for members with APSGO Founder, Past President and spokesperson Helen Jones on Saturday March 13. This Workshop was presented in open Q&A format with parents encouraged to submit questions to Helen in advance and during the workshop. You can listen to the recorded workshop below.
I was listening to Kim Olver’s podcast interview with Sue Kranz recently where she speaks on parenting using Choice Theory. One of the issues she discusses in the podcast is whether parents need to be “on the same page”. This struck a chord with me because of the parenting journey my husband and I had been on through our sons’ teen years. What follows is the reflection on that journey and why I agree with Sue Kranz that parents do not need to be “on the same page”. When my son Ali became a teen, my husband Nat and I […]