Re-establishing a Relationship
My husband and I have three sons. Our youngest chose a completely different path than his two older brothers. His behaviour started to change with his change of friends. One of my friends suggested a parent's support group of which she was aware, although not a member. To my mind things were not that bad. Over time our son's "acting out" escalated. We had lost our son! His behaviour put a huge strain on our relationship, in spite of thirty years of marriage. My husband's and my view on how to deal with our son differed greatly.
The mother's of two of our son's friends told me they belonged to a parent's support group and it was a great help to them. We attended our first meeting on our son's birthday. As it turns out, this was a gift to ourselves. It felt good to be in a place where we were not judged by our son's actions, where confidentiality was maintained and where we could call for support at anytime. We felt empowered and with the help and support of the group, we put aside the emotionality of dealing with our son's behaviour .
After our son took care of his dealings with the court, he left our home and "lived on the street" for five months, negotiated his was home and left again to return months later and advise us he would be a father.
At present he is living in our home. He is now twenty years of age and the father of a one year old son. He has re-established a relationship with us. We felt he would never tell the truth again. He does. We felt he could never be trusted again. We are rebuilding trust. The morals, values and principles he was taught early in life have kicked in once again. He has found a talent and seems to be quite successful.
We are enjoying our son again. With the help of our support group, we have taken back our lives. Almost two years after we attended our first meeting at APSGO, on a grassy knoll at our friend's farm, with just two other couples, on a beautiful July afternoon, my husband and I renewed our wedding vows. We did this for us. Through his acting out, our son has had a very positive influence on our relationship. We may make him aware of this (when he is about thirty-seven years of age).
Thank you to our group for your -support.
Our continued involvement in APSGO is our way of giving back the help we received.